I would have never picked a nursing home. As I walked down the hallways filled with
smells and doors I was scared to walk through, I had wild thoughts jumping
around in my head. How the heck did I get here?
What was I doing? I could not do this. Yet, here I was, fulfilling a pre-requisite
to the nursing program I was hoping to be accepted to. This was, by far, the most challenging pre-requisite
to complete. Not just because the only
time I could take it was on the weekends…the weekend after a full load of other
pre-requisites. And not just because it
was true hands-on training in the medical field that would either make or break
my dream of becoming a nurse. It was
because, out of all the jobs I would say I would ever have, working at a nursing
home was never one of them.
I love people. I love
old people, young people, broken people and inspiring people. Truly, God made me to love people. So, my aversion to nursing homes was not
about the people, as much as the place.
I did not know what to expect, and the population in general was
intimidating to me. What do you say to
someone who is asking questions that make no sense because their mind is
wracked with Alzheimer’s? How was I
going to handle situations when the patient was in a vulnerable position and
needed help that to me, seemed a bit embarrassing? How would I deal with facing the fact that
someday, I might be one of those aged souls, needing this amount of help?
Working in the nursing home taught me lessons that I will
take through life, and has caused much reflection in my heart. I thought I would share what nine weekends of
CNA training brought to light- the funny and the serious reflections that still
clang around in my mind.
Family involvement is everything. It was amazing to see the people who had
family involved in their care, and there were subtle differences. I am not talking about differences in the
quality of care- but in the way the patient was cared for. When someone shows up to eat a meal with the
patient stuck in bed, it gives them so much joy and something wonderful to look
forward to. When the resident’s laundry
was done by family and smelled of fresh dryer sheets…notes on the whiteboard
and pictures around…these things made a difference. Families who stay involved
bless the individual in the nursing home.
Providing personal care for patients was not embarrassing at
all. I was greatly impressed with our
training on patient privacy, and many CNA’s take the task seriously. Whether due to surgery, injury or inability,
the fact is that some people just need to wear briefs (adult diapers) and they
need to be changed often. I was really concerned
about keeping the patient’s dignity in this process, along with when there were
shower needs to help with. I will boil
it all down to this- it was an honor to help someone with their most basic
needs. That is not to say that at times it
was not a challenge, but in the end, compassion won over any gross-out factor,
and it somehow felt like being the hands and feet of Jesus. It is not glamourous to change briefs or scrub
hair that smells and has not been washed in over a week. But there is a quiet
sense of fulfillment that comes from helping the helpless. That blessed my heart in unexpected ways.
The biggest lesson I learned on personal health is this:
KEEP MOVING. When patients became
bed-bound, bed sores were a daily battle to fight and it seems to go downhill from
there. I truly was inspired even more to
take care of my physical being, and stay physically strong. I believe that just simply walking is helpful
to keep the body moving, and also to keep the mind strong. I have told my husband many times that my goal
in life is to always be as active as I can be.
So, to this end, I will bike, run, jog, stretch, eat my veggies, hydrate
well and KEEP MOVING as I age.
Although there were so many learning lessons I will take
with me, the most profound was something I would say quite often after the day
was over and I was coming home to my family.
I would tell Levi and my boys, “It is amazing the difference that Jesus
makes. You can almost just feel it when
you walk into their room.”
I am not into “feelings faith” where we rely on emotion of
the moment to get us through…I am actually a fairly conservative, Bible-based-facts
type of person who will raise her hands in surrendered worship, but stop short
of being slain in the spirit, LOL. I know with all my heart I have felt the
Lord’s presence, but I also am grounded on reality. I explain
this as a backdrop to help you understand what I mean when I say….I truly could
walk into a room and feel Jesus there with the person. There was hope in their
eyes and in their face, even amidst troubling circumstances. There was kindness in their requests, even if
they were in pain. There was an air of
dignity about them, even in the most humbling of times. There was a lightness to the room that was
truly unexplainable.
I will never forget the first weekend that Stephanie and I were
immersed in the reality of CNA work and the aging population. We were both a bit
shell-shocked and hanging on for dear life, truly praying that the Lord would
give us strength to get through the things that were hard for us (smells, the
sadness, fear of vomiting etc.). We took
vitals, learned how to do a bed bath, provided for basic needs like food, teeth
brushing and then it was time to check on the next room. There was a frail woman laying on her bed,
asleep with flowers on her little table. She was in short term, recovering from
some health issue, and slightly confused.
She had a card from her church and her Bible on her nightstand. And
there was a sweet peace in her quiet little room, abiding, as she slept there. In the week that followed, we would get to see
her awake and help her eat. Through
confusion, there was always a gentle confidence about her, and a ready
smile. Even though she struggled, she
was joy and she was light. She had Jesus in her heart- the proof was all over
her life. Stephanie and I both loved
taking care of her humble, confused little self. She was a joy.
This picture in my mind is frozen in time, and contrasted to
another picture- one that breaks my heart and formed training wheels for my
future in medicine. It seems that no matter what facility we went to, no matter
what weekend, there was always that one lady that was in extreme pain with no
hope.. fighting anger, bitterness at life and desperation evident in their
eyes. I saw one of the worst bed sores that had tunneled deep into tissue on a
patient that was dying. It was sad, and it was horrible. But what was the most
horrible was the times that people were suffering either loudly or silently,
and I was not sure that they had Jesus to cling to.
I have told my boys the more gentle lessons I have learned…and
the heart of it has been this: Jesus is our anchor. He is the one thing that we
can hold on to, whether rich or poor, living in squalor or wealth, it is He alone who gives us our
dignity. In storms, in pain, in helpless situations and when we become a shell
of who we used to be- He is our sustenance. And for anyone who questions if
Jesus is real- if it all is just a story that makes us feel better when we are
scared or sad, I can tell you, I have seen the difference. At the end of my
days, I want to know Jesus better than I know him now. I want my children and
grandchildren to walk into my room and see me in peace, joyful at the
expectancy of Jesus.
At this time of the year, we are expectant of Christmas. We
prepare meals, presents, dinner parties and plans. It’s a season of joy abundant. One of my
favorite things is looking at Christmas lights all around town, snuggled up with
my family in the car and hot cocoa in our hands. We drive to the places we know will be
decorated with hundreds of lights, expectant of beauty to behold. I hope that
along with the celebration, that we find room for the expectancy of Christ. I have been doing a devotional that reminds
me of this: Immanuel, meaning Christ
with us, came down to live among us. And
though he died, so that we may live without the consequence of eternal death, He
never left us. He gave us His Spirit as
a deposit, guaranteeing what is to come and given us His seal upon us (2 Corinthians
1:22). We have the hope of Jesus, the
hope of heaven, this Christmas season.
May its true gift not be lost on us.
May we live like God’s precious people, looking more like Him every day,
and being a discernable reflection of Him.
We all have an expiration date…I think that’s what stared me in the face
the most at the nursing homes. I want to
live every day for Jesus, because at the end of the day, that is what life is
all about.
I am grateful for the weekends that I spent with people’s
grandparents and loved ones. I treated every person the way I would want my
grandparents treated. I do believe that
there are many amazing CNA’s that feel the same way.
I am going to enjoy Christmas break with my family and get
ready for the next round of classes in January and am so excited to see where
the Lord continues to lead. I can tell
you one thing, Lyme Disease has another thing coming. I think that between Steph and I, it may have
met its match.
God bless each of you that need hope this season. Jesus came and Jesus lives. Immanuel,
God is with you, precious soul.
MERRY CHRISTMAS!!!
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| Boom. Twenty-one credits, one term: done. |
