Today I am on week three, day four of treatment...and I woke up without pain. I was skeptical at first, waiting for the typical tired (like I've been hit by a train and then run over) to plague me, and the head-ache that has been fairly constant in my forehead the last three weeks to make itself known. It didn't.
It's very hard to explain, but I feel like the mental cloud that has made it's home in my brain lifted just a little bit today...enough for me to be aware that it's there, and to see light on the other side. I don't mean just an emotional cloud of darkness lifted, but there was actually a cognitive ability that I have not had previous- I did not have to labor as hard to think through my grocery shopping list, where I had to go next, and what pills I needed to take today. Besides the mental status, I feel hope in my heart because of the glimpse of health I see in my body. Today I didn't have my heart pounding and feel dizzy after bringing my groceries to the car. I did not feel desperate to get home. I forgot what it felt like to be healthy, and I didn't realize how far I had fallen. This makes me sad, but also extremely THANKFUL.
So even if tomorrow, on Thanksgiving, I crash and am achy and exhausted, that is okay. I know I will have good days and bad days on this journey...I am not ignorant enough to think I am fully healed today, or assume that the darkness will not come back tomorrow. Even now, I feel some of the "tired" descending, after a day being busy, and my left knee is doing that familiar ache that I have gotten used to and typically ignore. BUT, I know something is happening...a bit of my "normal" is coming back. I am more sure than ever that we will continue to press on and see where we stand at week 12...and I will be thanking my Jesus all the way.
Here's to some health and healing ahead! (Thank you Levi, for always helping me keep my laughter.)
No comments:
Post a Comment