treatment: week six

This will be a quick update on week six.

DAY ONE
ozone and bionic day....400 RI followed by one hour in hyperbaric chamber.  Bionic with babesia and borellia nosode, 100%, 11.77 hz, 330 seconds, 10 points.  (I did not record any info about physical symptoms this day)

DAY TWO
High dose vitamin C day.  Today after the IV I felt so incredibly tired and exhausted- also felt very emotionally heavy.  I had a few good days and it was hard to feel the cloud descending again.  Thankfully, it didn't descend as heavily and after laying down for a few hours, I was able to function a bit and go to bed tired that night.  My most notable symptom was that my left knee hurt.  When I walked, it felt like an injury and I felt that if I put weight on it, it would bend backwards or buckle beneath me.

DAY THREE
I woke up with joint pain, but I realize that I am remembering things!  Little things like dates I need to remember and things on my to-do list are no longer fleeting whisps of thought that cannot be contained.  I used to have to write something down (like an event on my calendar) immediately because for the life of me I did not have recall of facts or information.  I could not will myself to remember or berate myself enough, or repeat it enough times to remember.  This caused anxiety within me, and I always felt that horrible sinking feeling that I was forgetting something.  I would second guess myself that I turned off the stove, or I would be sure that someone was counting on me to be somewhere and I was a no-show.  It was a constant anxiety within me, knowing I was not really capable, and for someone who thrives on structure and an element of control over oneself (lol) it is yet another burden to bear daily in the lyme spectrum.  (It's one of those bullet points below a bullet point of symptoms that is hard for a lymie to describe.)  It is such wonderful normality to realize that I have my brain back on these days of light and clarity!  The point of all this is...I am making less of my own chaos!  (Just one example: Like at the grocery store I now recall what I need to buy...it helps when you don't need a list because when you have no memory, who can remember to bring the list?  #MakingMyOwnChaos)

DAY FOUR
ozone and bionic day
400 cc RI followed by one hour in hyperbaric chamber.  Bionic 880 at 100%, 11.77hz, 330 seconds, 10 points with the babesia and borellia nosode.

I got a headache at 2:00 but overall feel better than I have in weeks.  The headache could be attributed to the cryptolepis and artemisia I am taking to help combat babesia.

DAY FIVE
IV vitamin C today.  Although the severity of my symptoms is lessened, I felt legs, knee and feet pain today.  My headache was in the front of my head in my forehead region, but again, seemed less intense.  Almost like turning the volume on the stereo down a bit...it's still there but there is more room to function around it.

DAY SIX
My kids were with daddy all day so I had some time to spend all by myself.  The exciting thing about starting to feel my body healing is that I have energy for more than just getting through a day.  So today, it was a battle between resting and hoping for a surplus of healing, or getting a few projects done that were on my mind.  The projects won!  I had energy to buy some racking and assemble it in our attic and got one little section cleaned.  For an organization junkie like me, I felt like I had basically celebrated Christmas early.  Not only because I was able to complete something strenuous and more than the basic survival of another day, but because for me, it meant the real me was coming back.  When you get sick, you begin to lose the fight and it's almost like my vision clouded over.  I kept up on the daily's like laundry and dishes, and kept a clean house, but my standards for myself had narrowed to just the basics.  Just the bare minimum to function and look a little presentable.

In addition to organization sucess, today was a victory not only because I had the strength and the brain space to organize an attic but.....wait for it....I followed the directions to put the shelving together!!!!!!!! (insert balloons while pomp and circumstance play for me)  Having to follow assembly directions was akin to solving nuclear math for me (can I get an amen from someone) and I used to quit before even starting.  My brain would not make sense of it (refer back to day three memory issues and picture Dory from Finding Nemo following five step directions.) I listened to pandora's "music for studying" and conquered the Chinese pictograph to assemble my shiny new racking.  I fought, and I won!

Afterwards, I had time to rest and enjoy the glow of a clean, quiet house with a lit Christmas tree and felt all the beauty of hope in my heart....hope of the reason why we celebrate the Christmas season.  I am reminded that while I seek to find my own level of perfection in this season of beauty, that Jesus Christ was born in a stable beside animal breath and the smell of earthy hay.  Yet all of the heavenly light embraced the perfection of Christ in human form.  A critical eye would see all that Jesus didn't have- but the eternal perspective would see why wise men and shepherds came to an animal barn to adore the King of Kings.  I want to be a shepherd, and look past the imperfection to see the eternal.  I want to be a wise man and bring Christ what I can, even thought my small gifts are humble and few.

To all my Lyme friends, and those who struggle with chronic illness...may you celebrate mightily this Christmas season with your family, in whatever circumstances your life finds you in.  May you sort through the roughage and fluff and grab hold of the eternal...and treasure it in your heart, like Mary did as she gazed upon the Son of God, the heartbeat of the world.  May our hearts be humble enough to hear the angels proclaim, and tender enough to fight off doubt and cynicism about the truth of the message.  May we, like the Shepherds, journey past our present circumstances and frailties, and press on until we are at the feet of Jesus.  If all you have the strength to do in this season is sit at the feet of Jesus, that is enough.  May He be your strength and your hope.

I wish you a Merry Christmas from my family to yours!